resurrgence of michelle

i didn't really watch much tv while at school, and since being home less than 48 hours, i've seen the name michelle used quite a few times... as a character name, in a commercial for a jewellry store (a guy practicing proposing... pretty much all he manages to get out is "michelle"), in a commercial for a car (a traffic cop named michelle leaves her name and number on the parking ticket)...

with this extreme popularity of my name in television as of late, i've come to a few conclusions:

a) i'm getting old...
b) michelle is no longer the popular name you name your daughter, it's the name of all the mothers.
c) us michelles, we're that age. that age we wanted to be as children. some are in college, some are young newlyweds, some are giving birth to their own children.

my birthday is only a few days away. this michelle is turning 25. seems like only yesterday i was still in high school. seems like only yesterday i was starting college. seems like only yesterday... for so many more things, so many more events. i feel like i should have accomplished more by now. shouldn't i be done school? shouldn't i be living on my own permanently? shouldn't i not be at my parents' house for the next month? shouldn't i have an exciting career? shouldn't i have a boyfriend or a fiance or be married? shouldn't i be more "grown up"?

what does this twenty-fifth year hold?

"See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me."
- Song of Solomon 2:11-13

back home

i made it home this morning at 6:30am... long trip. i went to Medicine Hat sunday night with some friends and we stayed overnight there, missing the big snowstorm that hit southern Alberta thankfully. Monday we drove to Calgary and saw many many cars in the ditch, and Monday night i took the bus north and arrived home this morning.

my younger sister leaves for the summer tomorrow, so i only got to see her for one day... but one day is better than nothing :)

and just when i awoke this morning, and was still completely groggy and out of it, one of the youth pastors from Renton called... and regretted to inform me that i did not get the job. so, unfortunately, i will not be seeing Seattle this summer. :(

but, this does make my summer plans much clearer, i don't have to make a decision as to which job to take, and i am pretty sure it's God's will that i work back at camp again. so, yes, i will be back in Ontario sometime around May 30th, i still have to get my plane ticket and such but that is when i am supposed to be there. i will be a program director and secret service team leader (the s.s.t. is the group of 14 year olds who do maintenance and work in the kitchen), i'll be doing discipleship and leardership with them... lots of fun stuff. i'm looking forward to it, i am hoping for an awesome summer.

yes, i am dissapointed that i won't be going to renton. i really think that their internship program would be an awesome experience. but working at my camp again will also be an awesome experience. i have the experience of last summer to draw on and improve on. i know what needs to change. i know what i want to improve on. i know the people and love them. i won't be starting from scratch. i'll get to see lots of friends again over the course of the summer.

and i know that God will teach me much. i look forward to seeing that.

farewell/iin a box

i'm sitting on the floor staring up at my computer, which is very far away. this type is very small. there's not much left in my room besides my computer, the contraption it sits on (my desk wasn't big enough, so the monitor has sat on the CPU box and a milk crate for the past 8 months), my stereo, and my bed, and a few miscellaneous things that need packing.

graduation was good, the speeches were interesting, and my friends all handed Dr. Magnus (our president) puzzle pieces of a picture when he handed us our diploma. the picture was of him from the yearbook a couple of years ago when he had just had eye surgery and was wearing an eyepatch, with the caption "Papa Mags: by faith, not by sight."

i said goodbye to many... but some i didn't get to say farewell to.

my job interview was also today, via phone. i think there were 7 or eight people. lots of good questions, and tough questions.

i have no idea if i did okay or not. they asked if i had any questions at the end but i couldn't think of anything... and then as soon as i hung up i was like, gee, i should have asked the one guy how he would have answered the question he asked me. "how would you explain the concept of a realationship with God to someone who was non-Christian and did not have any church background?" another person had asked a clarification question on it too... it was a tough one to answer spur-of-the-moment. now, of course, i've thought about it much more.

i had about a five minute panic attack that i hadn't answered very well... but then i thought, you know, if i'm supposed to get the job, i'll get the job. God knows what He's doing. maybe i'll end up in Washington, maybe i won't. it's in God's hands. there's peace in that.

good thinking stuff. good probing questions. they said they'd phone me on tuesday to let me know what's up and if i've made it to the next step or not. i think they interviewed quite a few people for the two positions.

so, with that, i'm off to pack my computer. off to finish clearing out my room. tomorrow morning i've gotta get up early to move all my crud over to my new house, but then we aren't leaving until the afternoon. we're staying overnight in medicine hat and then i'll take the bus from calgary on monday.

happy trails to me.

in transit(ion)

last night was my graduation banquet. i invited my friends lowana and jodi because my parents didn't come (they came last year, i graduated with an associate of arts last year because i knew both my younger sister and i would be graduating and i knew my parents wouldn't be able to make it to both grads this year).

well, today is my college graduation. i also have a job interview at 5:40pm. then i'm going out for supper with friends, saying many good byes. then i'm packing up the last of my room and vacuuming my entire house. in the morning, i'll be hauling all of my stuff over to my September place of residence, and then leaving for Alberta and my parents' home.

right now i'm sitting in a chair with no desk, my computer is waiting to be packed, but after this, i won't have any internet access for a few days. i'm not sure if i'll get home monday or tuesday, i'm catching a ride to Calgary and then heading north, but i think we're staying in Medicine Hat overnight.

so, you probably won't be hearing from me for awhile, but have a super weekend. here's hoping for a good graduation, a good job interview (could it be on a worse day? ;) ), and good travels.

"The Lord your God is with you;
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
- Zephanaiah 3:17

chuckle chuckle

so my mom phoned me tonight... wondering if i had gotten the job yet. she told me she thinks i should get it and take it because she doesn't want me in the toronto area with SARS around. that made me chuckle, because when i first told her about the other job she was worried about me being in the U.S. because of the war and anti-Canadian sentiment.

best

this afternoon i was in a grad meeting and my youth min prof stopped by the door and mouthed to me that i needed to come and see him in his office when i was done with my meeting. now, this is very strange... because i really don't know my prof all that well, and i couldn't think of anything we'd have to discuss, other than papers or something like that, and i couldn't think of a paper he'd have to discuss.

well, for those of you who've been around awhile, you'll remember back in december that i did an independent study called "adolescent youth culture profile" on adolescent webloggers. all the assignments were based around the youth culture (adolescent webloggers) that we chose to study and infiltrate.

well, i thought my papers were okay. he however, thought it was absolutely fabulous and just loved it, and says it is the best paper he's read in at least a couple of years and went on and on. he loved how i "thought outside the box" of traditional youth cultures.

i must admit, i was pretty surprised to hear that.

i hadn't even talked to him beforehand about what i was planning to do for my independent study... which i was supposed to have. i just went ahead and did my assignments.

he said he was hoping i could come in next week and show him a bit of the weblogging world... but i'm going home on Sunday. i told him i'd email him some stuff. he wants to develop an assignment for a course called Contemporary Youth Issues next January where students are assigned to find a teen online and connect with them via their blog. now that would be an interesting assignment for those who have no idea that the blogging world exists.

i had talked to andrew careaga (an author of internet ministry stuff), about my assignment back just after i had finished it, and sent him a copy, and he got back to me this week asking if he could have permission to quote my paper in his revision of his book "e-vangelism"... so i thought that was pretty cool too. maybe all this internet surfing hasn't been for nothing. joanne says maybe i am a genius after all! :) ha ha.

anyways, i should get off this here internet and do some "real work." real work, of course, consists of packing my room.

have a great afternoon and evening everybody.

interview

so... i had an interview this morning for a youth internship in washington. i think it went okay, they weren't really tough questions, just mostly "what is one thing you would like to communicate to youth this summer most of all?" and "why should we hire you over our other applicants?". it was just me and one of the youth pastors, he asked a few questions, and we arranged a time for on saturday when i can be interviewed via phone with the whole hiring committee. so, saturday, at 4:40pst (seattle time), right after my graduation, i have another job interview.

so, yeah... saturday. another interview.

walk

we actually didn't get to watch the movie in the backyard because my faculty member roommate didn't clear it with the school that she was going to use the projector outside... so, yeah, people just hung out in the backyard and had a campfire and talked and stuff. i, however, really wasn't feeling like hanging out, so i spent a total of about five minutes outside.

did some more packing... my room is bare. there isn't too much left to pack, it's just a matter of fitting it into boxes that are already almost full. i packed all my cd cases. i had to round down to about thirty that i wanted with me for the summer to put in a portable case. i still have to pack all my clothes. i need to decide what i'm going to take for the summer and what i'm going to leave here. i'm kind of hoping that i don't have to pack all the ones that i'm leaving here, that i can just go and put them in my new closet. the only problem is i'm leaving on Sunday and the girl who has been living where i'm going to live isn't leaving until Monday. she has said we can drop off our stuff, but still.

next year my room will be much smaller, and i'll only have one teeny tiny closet and a teeny tiny east facing window (instead of a lovely big south facing one). and, my rent will be tons more expensive. and i'll only have one or two roommates. it'll be different, but i expect it will be good too.

i only have one more semester until i'm done all my classes for my master of arts. what will i do after december? i really have no idea. i'm not sure in the slightest. gosh, i don't even know what i'll be doing in a month for sure.

but Joshua 1:9 tells me, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." i'm so glad and so thankful that we can have confidence in the Lord and can trust him. He will never fail us.

if you can, please pray for me tomorrow morning as i have a job interview at noon. i get nervous about that sort of thing.

it's so nice to be loved. it's so nice to hear that you've been complimented when you weren't even around to hear it.

on the big screen

phewffda, i just finished my paper. but, i still have a few more to go. they're not due until may 7th, but i really don't want to take them home with me on sunday to keep working on.

i've gotten a major chunk of packing done today also, but there is still a lot to go. my walls and ceiling are bare... no more art, no more photographs, no more cool lamps hanging. i need to get as much done as possible before friday, because friday i have a vehicle available to me to cart stuff over to my duplex that i'm living in in the fall, and friday is also the start of all the graduation stuff. friday's the banquet and graduates introduction (we all dress up, walk across the stage, they say stuff about us, etc.), then saturday is the actual graduation ceremony. then i'll have my b.a.

tonight we're showing lilo and stitch in our backyard with a projector onto a big sheet. we've all invited our friends, should be fun. i wonder how many people will show up.

i should go. maybe i can get some more packing done before everyone shows up.

gross

i am attempting to finish up a boring paper, but i just wanted to share with you all that the computer station i am sitting at in the library absolutely reeks.

i hope that this smell doesn't latch on to me.

renton

i have a job interview by phone tomorrow (april 24)at 12noon CST.

pursue me, and alphabet

long day. but today i better realized a few things.

a) i shouldn't think that i should settle.

b) sometimes i really am a dud.

c) i really need to work more on my social interaction skills

d) i really like mcdonald's chicken nuggets.

e) sometimes, really stupid movies get made. and the film industry rips us off by showing them in theatres.

f) i really like photography.

g) job interviews scare me.

h) i have a lot of great people in my life whom i can call "friend."

i) cool pajama pants are a personal shopping weakness for me.

j) i want to sew more.

k) i love the end of the school year when my friends get all philosophical about the year that was... and we have great talks.

l) i don't really like packing.

m)i have some neat stuff.

n) i have too much stuff.

o) sometimes i'm just too vocal about stuff i care about.

p) sometimes i'm just not vocal enough about stuff i should care more about.

q) i'm worthy of being pursued.

r) and somewhere out there is that pursuer...

s) i wonder too often if i know him... and yet i don't pray for him enough.

t) i hate letting people down.

u) only very very seldom do i like being the centre of attention in a large group.

v) flip flops are so comfy.

w) my birthday is in less than two weeks.

x) i don't want to be another year older.

y) sometimes you just have to be silly.

z) zed. it's pronounced ZED. :)

My lover is mine and I am his;
he browses among the lilies.
Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee...
- Song of Songs 2:16, 17a

Hold on
You said
And I held on...
- Plumb, "Go"

things are ending

today i think it struck many of us graduates... next monday we won't be here. in fact, right about now, seven days from now, i'[ll be on a bus somewhere north of clagary.

sad. i don't like leaving school. i miss the people. and i don't like change. but i'm expecting to have a good summer no matter where i end up...

got some homework done this afternoon... about half of a boring boring paper. had supper at a campus home with a bajillion people (didn't die), watched part of "the ten commandments" (yeah... i am putting it off as much as possible! i was going to watch it last week), joanne brought back two rolls of film from moose jaw that she got developed for me (yay! how exciting is it to get pictures developed?), went and talked to some friends for awhile, fiddled around on the interneto for awhile, and now i'm going to bed.

tomorrow what i really need to be doing is a whole lotta homework. what i will be doing instead will be the following: getting up early, showering, cleaning, having lunch with my roommates and a friend, going to a mandatory grad meeting, hopefully pack a bit, do some laundry, go for supper at my friend cory's house, go with cory and beth to regina to a movie, pick up beth's mom from the airport, get back late, chat it up with roommates, and eventually go to bed.

i still have to pack my whole room. i still have to clean my room so it's spic and span. i still have papers to finish.

i'll get it all done... right?


the words that she wants to tell him
she desperately wants to show him

the things she'll confess are so small
to a God who's love is so large...

i'm writing a paper. and it's boring.

entertain me.

starfield lyrics

for those bajillion people out there who keep coming here from search engines looking for starfield lyrics of one type or another.... email me if you can't find them and i'll send them to you. :)

what have i done?

i just might have possibly done the stupidest thing i could have ever done... the return of the plastic owl prank from last semester.

but it was just too good of a chuckle to pass up.

recap

i should be in bed... but i wanted to post this so i'll remember what happened today (well, actually yesterday) in the future. and i really haven't posted anything lately.

i went to the library this afternoon and worked a bit more on the ficticious youth group. signed out a book and the movie the ten commandments because i need to write a paper on it... so that's the plan for tomorrow. watch that and prince of egypt and compare them.

then at supper time i went with holly and we walked two chocolate labs for a girl that we know who was out of town for the day. and i'd just like to say... welp, i'm not a big dog fan. we always had a dog when i was a kid, but it was always a border collie for herding sheep, and you didn't have to walk it. now, i can understand having a nice dog to walk. but these labs were not nice dogs. they've gotta smell everything and pee and poo everywhere, and pull you along. no nice pace with these dogs. and, there's always that... um.... that "dog smell." dogs aren't what i'd call a clean animal for the most part.

now, if you're a dog owner, i'm sorry if i have offended you. i hope you have a clean dog who likes to take a leisurely stroll. that would mean i'd like your dog.

i was not amused being pulled by a running dog and almost falling flat on my face. but, holly was. she thought it was hilarious. that's because her dog was behaving himself.

after we got back, i watched part of "white oleander" with a bunch of people who were over... i'd like to see the whole thing. it was an interesting movie.

then later, holly and i went with our friend, and future my roommate (this fall), jodi, to dairy queen in moose jaw, with her parents, who happen to be in town. they're from montana. i've met them on a number of occassions, they're swell people.

and then joanne, maria and i made Easter eggs for an Easter egg hunt we're holding for the neighbours' little kids tomorrow morning.

how is it, anyways, that eggs and bunnys and peeps became a symbol that the world associates so much with the resurrection day? something for me to ponder as i drift off to sleep so very very late...

ninjas

this is for ryan.

beauty

there is something about the piano, an instrument, but a tool in man’s hands.

softly and quietly, or loud and impetuously… passionately it can be played. Skillfully or poorly.

with graceful hands or pudgy fingers.

with beauty.

ack

umm... the renton people called my references this afternoon. but they haven't called me yet.

just yesterday i was checking out ticket prices for a flight to toronto at the end of may. i almost booked one.

yeah

so i need to have a shower and get dressed and stuff and return a book to the library that was due at 11am (it's from the reserve shelf, you can only take it out for five hours, or overnight)... but i don't want my day to start yet.

and i think i need to get a new email address. i got 17 emails since midnight last night. i don't want the world's smallest digital camera. i don't want to buy generic viagra, for that matter, i don't want to buy any prescriptions online. and "tony", i don't know you... so "hey" as a subject line isn't gonna work on me.

and, for the record, i also don't want to increase the size of anything.

Good Friday

the weight that she holds is too big
her faith she'll confess is too small
the weight that she thinks will hold her
away from a God who loves her

the weight that she wants so badly to flee
the weight that she thinks will hold her
the pain that she holds so deep in her heart
the pain that she thinks will hold her

the love of a God so big
there's nothing we hold
He can't erase

the love that heals us all
the weight of our world is still so small

the words that she wants to tell Him
she wants desperately to show Him
the things she'll confess are so small
to a God who's love is so large
the weight that she wants so badly to flee
the weight that she thinks will hold her
the pain that she holds so deep in her heart
the pain that she thinks will hold her

the love of a God so big
there's nothing we hold
He can't erase

the love that heals us all
the weight of our world is still so small
for Him

the love of a God so big
there's nothing we hold
He can't erase

the love that heals us all
the weight of our world is still so small
the love of a God so big
there's nothing we hold
He can't erase

the love that heals us all
the weight of our world is still so small
for Him

i'm not really sure who wrote this song, it's on our school's 2003 worship cd so i think maybe someone from here wrote it.

the love of a God so big, there's nothing we hold He can't erase.

reliance

i think that this next week is going to be a rough one for me. it'll be stressful and involve a lot of reliance on God to get me through it and keep me lifted up. i would write more on why, but... well, i don't want to. i don't want to write that for the world to see.

and, at the end of the week, next Sunday, i'm leaving school for the summer... not to return until September. i don't like change. i wish we could just keep on and that things didn't have to become different.

i tend to become a very settled person... yet i still yearn for adventure. i like it when things don't change until i make them change. i guess it's when the change is out of my control that i don't appreciate it.

i don't want to leave my friends. i don't want to leave our house and my room never to return again. holly and joanne and tamara are all leaving school for good. it'll be odd without them here. it will be different living somewhere else. but, i did only live in this house for one year, and my old dorm for three and a half before that.

but i am excited to see what the summer holds... what God has in store for me and what lessons He'll teach me. that is always exciting. i'm confident in Him.

Hold on
You said
And I held on
Lay down
Your sweet head
And I laid it down

I said
Tell me
All you have seen
And you gave
Of your life
To bring out my dreams...
- Plumb, "Go"

< 48 hours

joanne: where've you be been all night michelle? talking to guys?

michelle: i only wish.


(i was at the library)

good thoughts

i like this entry over at Say Jay's Speculations.

good thoughts.

and until that day, I must fasten my eyes on my Jesus and dance for Him alone.
- Sarah

thanks!

thanks for all your suggestions guys for michelle's ficticious super-cool youth group, you guys are awesome! i'm busy working on it again tonight in the library (with a few internet surfing breaks inbetween...), but things are looking good. i've got the school year part for the most part done, now i'm working on the summer stuff.

dreams

suzanne got back tonight from her four days on a cruise to the bahamas that she worked on... she brought us all back these bobblehead turtles made out of some kind of nutshells (i think).

i went to moose jaw with rachel, joanne, and holly earlier today. bought a few more groceries to last until next weekend, by the 27th we'll all be gone. well, except for rachel. she's staying for the summer. we got film developed (i got some really good pictures from when we went to the farm last week, and also a few pictures of my room and misscellaneous stuff, nothing terribly fabulous), and went to the scrapbooking store where joanne stocked up. she's planning on making a scrapbook this next week of her years at bbc. i also got a lot of paper... i've been working on my scrapbook this past week. i'm caught up to the beginning of february this year, i'm hoping to get this whole school year up until this week done by sometime next week.

of course, homework should be taking precidence over my scrapbooking hobby... but believe me, my scrapbook is way cool. anyways, i need to get my homework done. that is #1 right now. and next week i'll be big time packing.

jodi and i are supposed to go soon and sign our lease for next year. i don't want to sign a lease. i just want a place to live. and a place to store my stuff for the summer. i don't want to sign any legally binding agreements.

almost

i've been working all evening at the library on a 12-month calendar for michelle's ficticious super-cool youth group that i have to do for a class i took called "Programming Strategies for Effective Youth and Family Ministry." now, i'm not even working with a real youth group, real kids, or real situations. but it's taking me forever. but so far i have the following:

a) Sunday School pretty much every Sunday. between the two ficticious services. different options every three months (i.e. you can pick something like "Acts" for September-November, "Women in the Bible" for December-February, etc.)

b) different small groups ("God at the Mall" food court Bible study once a week; "In Your Living Room" Bible study, and probably one more... have to think of another good one).

c) youth group Friday nights at 7:30pm... games, worship, fellowship, Bible study.

d) monthly leadership meetings.

e) montly outreach projects and activities.

f) a big Christmas play (outreach kind of thing)

g) new year's eve party/ fun night

h) winter retreat over the first weekend of march break.

i) youth and parents retreat over the May long weekend.

j) summer... still to come.

what am i missing? any suggestions?

by request

as per the request of my major stockholder over at blogshares, i have included the following:

a definition
ninja: n. pl. ninja or nin·jas
A member of a class of 14th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations such as assassination and sabotage.

and as for attack weasels, this guy dave claims to have some, but i couldn't find any anywhere else. i'm not sure exactly to get a hold of my own.

egads!

it's actually quite scary when you do a google search for your own name and find this.

it's down right frightening to know that there are other people out there walking around with my name... who dance with purple wigs.

just for the record

i'm at the library.

doing homework.

shocking, i know.

thought

it really doesn't matter if someone has told you it's true, or if a million people have told you it's true... you actually have to believe that it is true.

in case you were wondering...

there are only until my college graduation, and there are only days until my birthday, and... there are only days until next year.


somehow this makes me think i should be busier, doing more stuff.

moi



since the large majority of you have never met me, this is me (left) and joanne, one of my roommates, in december at the college Christmas banquet



and this is my friend lowana and i sometime this school year.

first rain

Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby.
- Langston Hughes

i've got you beat

"Procrastination is from the Latin procrastinatio, formed from the verb procrastinare "to put off for tomorrow," from pro-, "forward" + crastinus, "of tomorrow," from cras, "tomorrow.""

i came to the library tonight to work on my paper comparing textbooks.
i've been here for almost two hours.
my books and binder and disk are sitting on the desk in front of me with my discman.
the books are closed.
they have yet to be opened tonight.
and now i'm going home.

procrastination is my middle name.

Procrastination is the thief of time.
- Edward Young

defeated

i'm almost ready to give up on the new template. i'm no html genius... but this is giving me a headache. i keep getting error 504 messages...

i want a new template. i don't want to use one of blogger's. i want to not spend forever trying to get it to work.

exerpt

i was over at sarah hatter's site tonight and i found this post:

"Expecting anything from people will only lead to great disappointment, wouldn't you say? Hoping that a person says something to you, thinking about them saying it, dreaming of the moment will only speed the disappointment. Anticipation turns to anxiety, which ultimately turns to bitterness once our dreams, our perfect cookie-cutter image of what a person is going to say or do is not fulfilled.

It's not their fault. I expect too much from people, but my expectations are way too extraordinary.

What I Want Him To Say:
"Wow, you're beautiful, just stunning, really."

What He Says:
"Wow, you're really smart."

What I Want Him To Say:
"I dream of taking naps lying next to you, and walking on the beach, and doing cliche couple things that signal to other people how in love we are."

What He Says:
"You're funny."

What I Want Him To Say:
"I have fallen for you. Completely."

What He Says:
"You write well." "

- used by permission, copyright Sarah Hatter Dot Com.

i hearby crown thee...

i should be working on my paper. but instead, i've been fiddling around with my new template. something, however, has gone wrong, and for some reason some of the codes are failing me. luckily however, i have a back up copy from earlier in the day before it started failing. it'll be more work now and i've accomplished nothing in the past hour because of it, but it's better than continuing to try to find the bad code (i've tried... i can't find it) and definitely better than starting afresh. i think somehow my problem is either with the rain or the comments... both have been causing a ruckus on the new template.

so maybe eventually, if i keep procrastinating these next few days, you'll see a new template layout. i am the queen of procrastination, so it's highly likely that you will.

If you just stand beside me
I'll keep you in my life
Tell me how much you love me
And I'll be just fine
Don't be afraid of me
- Plumb, "Boys Don't Cry

return to cinema

this week i'm working unwillingly on my papers for the class i took back at the beginning of march, Screening Scripture:The Bible in Film and Video. there are three assignments... the first is comparing and contrasting two of the films we watched on the Moses and Exodus narrative, one comparing and contrasting the two textbooks we used (T. Barnes' Jesus at the Movies and Stern, Debona, and Jefford's Savior on the Silver Screen), and the third is developing a learning program using the Bible in film for a specific ministerial situation (such as a youth or adult Bible study, etc).

the class was interesting... i just don't want to work on the papers. all my roommates are in exams right now... well, except for suzanne who's in the bahamas until friday. she's got a rough life. ;)

blogshares

i hadn't been to blogshares in awhile, but i noticed a couple of hits coming in lately from there so went over to check things out... my blog finally has value and is available for trading. thanks chad for buying shares. :)

sometimes i wonder

who are you?

someone (IP 68.12.46.183, host ip68-12-46-183.ok.ok.cox.net) has visited my site 15 times between 10am on Sunday and now (almost 1am on Monday). i've only updated just now, so i assume you've been finding something interesting to read in the archives?

i wonder what makes people come back to my page. why do you read it?

there are a few lurkers out there... people who never leave comments. now is the time. :)

you've not been hearing from me today for the following reasons:

a) i've not really got anything rattling around upstairs to write that i would consider blog-worthy.

b) i've been packing (oh, that dreaded end of the school year!)

c) i've been working on a new template.

but i have a question for you... would mikao's world still be mikao's world without raindrops? should the lightly pattering rain cease to exist? it's been raining since october.

so i found this quote on this blog that i surfed to via michaela's blog where i stop by every once in awhile, and i wanted to post it here. i have never heard of andrew osenga before, but i might have to track down his music somewhere.

you said you think that i give up too soon
on the nice girls that i find
- andrew osenga, "beautiful girl"








don't give up on me.

helps

one of my camp friends who happens to be at school here came over tonight and we talked a bit about camp for the summer... i had decided this morning while contemplating rolling out of bed that if i got the internship in washington i'd definitely take it (even though i'm still waiting for my informal phone interview, and none of my references have been called yet, and so the process is a little slower than i had anticipated)... but then talking to my camp friend i got a bit apprehensive about it. does camp need me? would they survive without me? yes, i know they would.

but would i make camp a better place? would i help camp fulfill it's purpose better this summer? is there some reason that i should be there this summer?

those are the answers that i am searching for in prayer tonight. tonight and tomorrow and the next day and most likely the day after that.

i think that one of my main spiritual gifts is helping. facilitating others in ministry. doing the jobs no one else wants to do. making sure things get done. working under whoever's in charge to make sure that everything they don't have time to worry about is still coming together and is still continuing.

is this why i should go back this summer? God, do you want me to go back?

and is this going to change my life forever?

beautiful day

amazing how a beautiful day can start out so utterly terribly horribly. i used to have this book when i was a kid, actually, i probably most likely still have it somewhere, called "alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day." anyways, today started like one of those days, but it didn't end like that. i like redemption.

nothing terribly fabulous happened today... i went out for Greek food with the yearbook staff, i went scrapbooking with holly and rachel, i went to the student families and seminary BBQ with maria, i came back home, scrapbooked some more, watched some tv (it's stanley cup time... i watched my obligatory game for the year!), talked to holly and joanne, fiddled around on the net...

added some new blog links. the more cool blogs i find out there the sadder i am because i don't have time to read them all all the time. i love investing time in relationships with people, but there is only so much time you can give to such relationships.

crudbuckets.

(crudbuckets of course is another of the many words (or so i'm told) in my blog that you might scratch your head at trying to ascertain the meaning of... most i don't even realize are "unique-to-michelle" words. i think i make up words a lot but use them so often i don't realize it, and my friends pick them up and use them too so then they seem even more-so natural... anyways, "crudbuckets" is a term you would use when something is cruddy, when something is not as you would like it to be, when things aren't up to par like you want. used in exclamation).

early mornings

i worked on my scrapbook a bit this afternoon, and then tonight i went with joanne, maria, and my old RD (residence director) carol to a farm to see some lambs.

i'm not really enthralled with farm life, having grown up on cattle and sheep farms it's all "old hat" (what a lame-o phrase), but joanne and maria were pretty excited to see lambs close up. so that was neat. i took lots of pictures, hopefully they turn out neat.

and the other day i borrowed the remote control off the yearbook camera (it's the same as mine just an earlier model) to try out some night shots so i don't get camera shake (your shutter is open longer for night pictures, and if you don't have your camera held completely still, then you end up with fuzzy pictures. a remote control is used to click the picture instead of you holding the camera and pushing the button). i want to see if i can take some good pictures of the chapel when it's lit up at night, and maybe some stars. i've never tried to take star pictures before.

anyway, tomorrow the yearbook staff is going out for greek takeout at this new greek restaurant in moose jaw for lunch which should be interesting… i'm not sure how many are actually coming so it may be just me (the layout editor) and Melissa (the editor) and our advisor (our dean of students), which would be a very weird situation.

and after that i'm going with holly and rachel to this waaaay geeky scrapbooking afternoon workshop thingy. holly has never scrapbooked before, and has made fun of me for the past two years. ha ha, i have successfully converted her. she's going to be a scrapbooking consultant, having her own homebased business within a matter of months, i'm sure of it.

"i always feel like such a blond or something when i'm on farms. they didn't teach us anything in school. please don't tell anyone i thought that the goats were male sheep!"
- maria

wet hair walking around

so today i was awake at 9am, which is highly unusual for me… i mostly just lounged around before noon, listening to my new Plumb cd, and then i finally got up and showered and did my hair (which is a big deal…).

i was thinking about this the other day. in the morning, i shower, comb my hair, put in a little gel so the top isn't frizzy… and go. like go out with it still wet. hey, it dries eventually. but yesterday i was wondering… does anyone else do this? i never notice anyone else with wet hair walking around. but do people notice me with wet hair walking around?

two summers ago when i went down to southern illinois to do my internship for college, i stayed at my aunt and uncle's in chicago for a week beforehand. i can remember my aunt telling me it was improper to go out with wet hair, and that i really should let her buy me a hair dryer. she doesn't have any kids, and her only nieces and nephews are me and my two sisters and brother… and i'm the only one who has ever been to her house… and she always has this compulsion to buy me stuff whenever i go there. but i always feel weird. i don't like people buying me stuff like that.

anyways, i have digressed. she told me it was improper to go out with wet hair. but not even once that summer did i blow dry my hair. and i worked in a church six days a week. i now own a blow dryer, but i have literally used it maybe three times in the past four months, which is a new world record for me.

will i ever be a big hair drying person? i don't think so. not unless i get a job that requires it i suppose. it takes too much time… why waste all that time drying it when it will do it itself anyways? my hair looks better when it dries naturally anyways. blow drying kills your hair.

and in the winter when it's freezing cold outside it's kind of neat to have frozen hair. and for those of you who have never had the experience, when you come inside with frozen hair, it dries super quick after that. very very handy trick to know, trust me.

thai someone

my homework got done and i went out for supper… there were 18 of us celebrating two non-birthdays (anna's is the 28th and mine is may 5th, but i always celebrate my birthday april 11th at school), it was a lot of fun. lots of people i don't normally hang out with and an interesting conglomeration of people.

now i'm not exactly sure, but i do not really think that it was the best thai food that we had, so i do not know if i'm exactly informed enough to make a decision on whether or not i like thai. a few things were good, i'm not sure what any of it was, but then there was some stuff that i really wasn't too fond of. so some day in some big city i'll have to go out for thai to find out if i like it. :)

my friend cory is always really into my school birthday, and this year got me an awesome penguin ice cream scoop that i have wanted for years. awesomeness! now i'll have to buy ice cream.

one of my roommates, one of course who has recently ended up with a boyfriend, asked me if i was getting sick or tired of hearing about other people hooking up and having boyfriends.

my immediate (unsaid) reaction was "no, i'm not sick of it. someone likes me. that's enough for me, to know that someone does."

but is it enough for me to know that? i actually feel bad that i know that, because it wasn't him that decided to share it with me. they're his feelings, why should i know it if he hasn't chosen to tell me?

and it would be so much sweeter if he had chosen to tell me.

but my final thoughts are this. no, i'm not sick of hearing about other people hooking up and having boyfriends. it's normal and natural for people to be in relationship. i am however sick of people having spring fever, of hooking up because the year is ending… of people ditching their other friends for each other and spending every waking moment together or on the phone. it's normal and right to keep friendships when you come into relationship with someone else. sure you have this wonderful new thing, but don't forget about what you had before. your friends are still there.

it happens too much. i hope it doesn't happen to me.

if we ever take a risk and dive in.

so here we are
nothing to lose
so take my hand.
- plumb, "sink n' swim"

busy

i don't have time to really write anything as i have a bunch of homework to get done today before 3:30 when i promised maria i'd teach her to scan and use photoshop a bit...

but i wanted to say that i'm having a good day.

and tonight i'm going out for thai food for the first time in my life... it's my "school birthday" tomorrow and my friend anna's birthday is also soon, so we are celebrating tonight. should be fun. hopefully my fragile stomach can handle it! ;)

one last thing

"From the east I summon a bird of prey;
from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose.
What I have said, I will bring about;
what I have planned, that will I do."
- Isaiah 46:11


i was going to go to bed, but then i thought i would post one last thing today.

i've been really disappointed in my entries lately, wondering how well my thoughts are coming through and what i'm actually sounding like to others.

the last few days have been tough for me. mostly because i try to stay in control of things and worry too much. the low self esteem of my junior high years resurfaces with a vengance and doesn't let go of it's ironclad grip.

but i know the One who holds my future solely in His hand. He's got it under control... i just have a problem letting go and letting Him have the control. i want to be in charge of my future. but why? i know that if i was things would go terribly and nothing would be as it should.

God, I want to give it all to You.
I want You to take my hopes and fears and do with them what You will.
You know my heart.
You know what's best for me.
I don't know what's best.
Help me, Lord, to give you the reigns.
Take my anxious heart Father.
Take my fears and relieve them.
Take my feelings of helplessness.
Help me to let go.
Help me to care for those around me.
Help me to love.
Help me to be loved.
Help me to be vulnerable.
Thank You for Your Love.
Thank You for Your grace.
Thank You for Your unending blessings.
Father, I release it to You.

i wouldn't lie

have been working on homework most of the night, after i got back from a bridal shower for a friend getting married in anchorage may 17th. i wish i could go to the wedding, that would be fun. i've never been to alaska.

i tried for the last half hour to figure out ftp stuff for my new up and coming website... but am at a loss. jenni, i got the updates finally today, and now i have SmartFTP too, but for the life of me i can't figure it out. what exactly am i supposed to do? it keeps telling me that my login info is incorrect, but i'm not sure if i'm logging in to the right thing.... is it as hard to figure out as i think it is? :)

tomorrow is the last college and last seminary chapels of the school year, so if i'm feeling up to it i hope to be able to go to both of them in the morning. it feels so very very weird that the school year is already almost over. i don't have any exams, just assignments to finish before leaving. grad is the 25th and 26th... then i'll have my bachelor of arts degree, and then i can sign my name Michelle Johnston, B.A. how exciting huh? :)

i got plumb's new album, "beautiful lumps of coal" today after having to special order it and wait two weeks for it to come in... but worth the wait. so far i'm loving it. different than her other albums, but still so very very good. i always love her lyrics... always find something in them to relate to. lots of good lyrics to end new posts with how i'm feeling at the moment. the damaging awkwardness... ever so real to me right now.

So what would you say to me
If you could talk to me?
You could ask anything
I wouldn't lie
But you're okay with this
Damaging awkwardness
So I'll just play it safe
And keep it inside.
- Plumb, "Boys Don't Cry"

it's time

it is a beautiful day outside... i had forgotten it could be this nice. the graciousness of the Father's goodness never ceases to amaze me, in the big blessings as well as the small.

pray for me, i have a big week ahead. much homework to do, much thinking to do, many social obligations. and all my references are being contacted, and i'll have phone interviews for a job so very far away.

pray for my anxiousness. my anxiety. attacks that are uncontrollable and sudden, attacks very subliminal and subconscious.

nothing like a feeling of utterly being helpless to wake you up and smack you in the face.

letting go... trusting God.

So here we are
Nothing to lose
So take my hand
We'll jump right in
The waters warm
Its time to live
- Plumb, "Sink n' Swim," from the new album Beautiful Lumps of Coal

avril lavigne said it

with a measure of grace i have submitted my application a day late due to illness for a church youth ministry internship in the state of washington. i think it would be an awesome opportunity for me, and a great experience.

however, getting accepted for the position would also complicate things. i would have to decide between it and another job. i would have to go to another completely new place where i don't know anyone. i would be out of the motherland. i'd be taking a risk.

sometimes i wish things didn't have to be so risky. why does everything have to be so complicated?

ugh

i'm not feeling very super today. it's one of those "everything in me aches today" kind of illnesses. i hope it doesn't last too long. i need to lie back down, go back to bed. i'm supposed to be going in to moose jaw this afternoon to get a present for a bridal shower that's tomorrow... as well as develop some film and take care of some other miscellaneous errands and fun stuff.

but while you're lamenting the fact that i have nothing new interesting to read, check out the licensce plate maker that i found. kind of fun. big time waster too. :)

annoying

although they are really really really really really really really annoying sometimes, i still love my friends. what would i do without them? life would be pretty boring without friends. or would i just have other friends? i suppose the latter would be more probable that the option of not having any friends... how life would be different if i had a completely different group of friends.

i would like to write more, but holly wants to get online and i need to get to bed. i haven't been feeling well all day and i need to get some sleep so i can get up for chapel tomorrow. lowana is leading worship and that is always a real treat. she's one of those people that i think "gosh, how did i luck out and get to be friends with someone this cool?"

He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.
- Proverbs 22:11

A friend loves at all times...
- Proverbs 17:17a

job app.

i need to get my job application done today. it's almost done, just a few things left to fill out... and my references. i haven't gotten in touch with my references. ugh.

and btw, it's melting. the snow is melting. the hugely immense plethora of snow is melting.

yearbooks

i wanted to post last night but i wasn't able to get the phone line free of roommates before 1am when i finally made it into bed. but, hey, there are five of us who share this one phone line so i think i'm pretty lucky that i get on as often as i do.

this morning i did a speech in front of the entire college chapel, with somewhere around 800 people staring at me. the cheering of my friends was nice :) . i had never really realized before that the speaker really can't see anyone because the spotlights are so bright. anyways, i talked about the yearbook's purpose, the yearbook staff, and introduced the couple that we dedicated the yearbook to this year... about five minutes long. and if you've read back in the archives at all or have been around for awhile, you'll know that public speaking makes me extremely nervous. but hey, i only barfed twice this morning. and once i got up there to speak it wasn't so bad.

we handed out yearbooks afterwards which is always a lot of fun, and so today everyone is everywhere looking at their yearbooks which is a real thrill for me. i love doing the layout. i love having a hand in the way the yearbook comes together. joanne told me it was "so michelle" this year which is kind of neat, but i hope it is more "so bbc". to God be the glory.

um... so... yeah

so remember that post a few weeks ago where i freaked out about boys and people and stuff? it was one of my hardest posts to write, and not one of my favourites. probably my most vulnerable though. but i've been working through my stuff. don't worry. lots of prayer. lots of thinking.

well, yeah... um... yesterday i found out that he thinks "he might kinda be sorta interested," which were his words via a friend.

i don't really know what to think. i'm trusting though that God has it figured out and i don't need to. His plan is bigger and greater than mine.

Oh, the way she he feels about me has changed.
- John Mayer, "My Stupid Mouth"

this phenom

so blogging is catching on, huh? it's "cool." people know what it is. more and more people are blogging. it's getting a little crowded. people are quitting blogging because it's getting too "pop-cultureish."

now there's crud out there like The Apathetic Online Journal Entry Generator, and blogshares.

but blogshares is actually teaching me something.

moving

thanks to the generosity of my friend jenni, mikao's world will eventually be moving to a new domain. i'm still working on getting everything set up to start building my new site and learning how to do it all... but eventually, someday, i'll be somewhere else on the web.

i've been trying to decide whether to just start a new blog. a new chapter. call it something else. get a new layout. start afresh but still link back. hmmm....

oh the possibilities.

i think

i need to rebuild my template from scratch. i keep having things disappear. my old comments quit working properly. my new comments have disappeared now. my nedstats disappeared awhile ago. i tried to reinstall them but it didn't work. whenever i load the page it says "with errors."

either my template is going crazy by it's self, or i have a hacker. but who would want to hack my blog? that would be completely weird.

interviewed

check this out, i'm interviewed's site of the day! leave a note in the comments please if you surfed in off of there.

i did this a couple of weeks ago, i need to take the time to read it again and find out how dorky i sound. what do you think?

i want

i think i'd like to get a polaroid camera. i want a regular one and a joy cam and one of those ones that you can make the little sticker pictures. but i don't really need any of them.

friday night

so it's a typical friday night here at Bible school... me and holly (one of my roommates) are entertaining ourselves with random internet surfing and other miscellaneous stuff... i worked on my new scrapbook for awhile, she's tracing stencils... she phoned her boyfriend, i thought about boys... she talked to her mom on msn, i updated my blog... she called jodi, i called jodi (both times jodi was not home)... you know, generally cool schtuff.

i asked holly if she has anything to tell the world. "um... i don't really. i kind of lead a boring life. that's it. i don't have anything else to say. i'm just going to sit here and continue to trace."

americans do you not like me?

i told my mom that i was maybe thinking about working in the states again. she emailed me back saying my grandmother would have a fit because, as she puts it, she "hears that americans are not being very receptive of canadians at the moment because they are not supporting the war effort with iraq even though it has nothing to do with the regular canadian joe blow."

but she did mention it's my choice. phewffda. i'm 24. i can make my own decisions. i'm glad. ;)

snow update # 2

it's snowing again. two feet wasn't enough i guess. (sigh).

snow update

it finally stopped snowing this afternoon. it snowed for over 48 hours straight i think. there is at least two feet of snow in most spots, and a lot of places have three to five foot snow drifts. there is way way more snow than there was before all the rest of it melted weeks ago.

i got an email from a guy in renton, washington today who said that they hadn't had any snow this winter. i don't totally love snow, but i couldn't imagine winter without it.

and, btw, i'm working on my intern application this weekend. we'll see what happens. maybe i will wind up in the seattle area this summer. hmm...

so yeah

today i got absolutely nothing done. well, i got stuff done, but nothing important. i went to both college chapel (it was the last drama chapel of the year), and seminary chapel (which was, i'd have to say, very very dry today. or maybe i just wasn't paying attention to a good message, i'm not sure).

then in the afternoon i met with melissa, the yearbook editor to plan our speech that we are supposed to be doing on monday for chapel. but first to understand this, you need a little background... traditionally the yearbook editor makes a speech to the entire student body (this year that's about 800 students) in chapel and talks a bit about the yearbook, the yearbook staff, and then talks about whomever the year's yearbook is dedicated to. usually it's dedicated to a faculty member or other staff member of the school, someone who has been here a long time serving the school.

now, i'm just a lowly layout editor. melissa is the yearbook editor, the head honcho, the big cheese. but she's a timid mouse. so i said i'd do a co-speech with her so it wouldn't be so bad. and now, if you've been reading my blog for awhile, you'd know that i'm no great public speaker. public speaking makes me nervous, even nauseous! but i think that two people being up there wouldn't be as scary as just one person.

so today "we" worked on our speech but it was really just me, and then tonight we were supposed to get together again to work on it (because she had to go to class and we couldn't finish it), but she didn't show up tonight.

so... yeah. i hope i'm not being mean. i also hope i'm not being walked on.

what is the "right" attitude to have in this situation? how should a Christian respond? is it bad for me to write this on my blog?

stupid conversation

maria: would you date him?
michelle: i don't know.

movies

this list of movies has been on my sidebar for a long time, but i want to clean it up, so i'm archiving them here. these are all the movies i've watched since the beginning of the school year (september), well, pretty much all of them... some of them i forgot to list. i did a short commentary on each, not because i'm any sort of a film critic, but because i don't want to write a post on the intricacies of my past two days when i know i should and i haven't thought about it enough yet to write something. and i think this post will help me remember in the future movies i might want to watch again.

abandon
didn't particularly like this one. it didn't live up to my expectations.

the bourne identity
i wouldn't recommend the bourne identity as a "good" movie, but it wasn't terribly terrible.

minority report
weird. i liked the colour themeing throught the movie. that's all i have to say.

the prince of egypt
the Jesus film
the ten commandments (1953)
from the manger to the cross(1912)
the ten commandments (1923)
and God spoke
romeo and juliet (1996)
romeo and juliet (1968)
watched all of these movies for my film class. i like prince of egypt. i thought it was interesting as well how much prince of egypt is like the ten commandments 1953 version.

my big fat greek wedding
hmm... an okay movie, i guess. i would watch it again. everyone i watched it with had seen it. they said it was fabulous. they hyped me up too much.

28 days
i think 28 days is an awesome movie. i love the way they did the camera work. i like the colour themes used throughout the movie. i think they did a good job of portraying drunkeness.

maid in manhattan
the only movie i saw in a theatre this year. i thought it was pretty good... would have been a much better movie had they not slept together.

about a boy
one of my favourites from the year. i've seen it three times i think. it's a great movie, funny, humourous, yet it still has the capacity to teach us.

never been kissed
saw this one over Christmas break. it's an okay movie. not fabulous though.

sweet november
also saw this one over Christmas break. i would love to watch it again to analyze it more. it's a thinker movie.

serendipity
i like this movie so much i bought it. i like to believe in serendipity... fortunate accidents. i love the music throughout the movie. and today, i just found out that "love in the time of cholera" is actually a real book, i did not know that.

miracle on 34th street
ugggghhhhhh...

it's a wonderful life
double ugggghhhhhhhhhh.....

remember the titans
one of my favourite movies. "what is pain?" "FRENCH BREAD!"

pretty in pink
i get a lot of hits off of search engines from people looking for pictures of duckie. i think that molly ringwald's character should have picked duckie. he was a much more honourable man.

orange county
without a doubt one of my biggest movie watching mistakes. this movie sucks.

reality bites
ahh... i love this movie. i need to watch it again sometime soon.

indian summer
i don't really remember this movie. it's an older one, early 90s i think. joanne loves it.

crazy/beautiful
i think this movie is well made, although i wish the main character would have worn more clothing in the movie. i love the scrapbook she makes.

on the line
the lance bass (n*sync) movie. it's funny. not quality filmmaking however.

kate & leopold
i get teased a lot because i love this movie. i think it rocks. if you think otherwise, kindly keep your comments to yourself.

a walk to remember
i own this movie. i've seen it at lease twelve times. i can quote along with the movie. i'm not sure if i should be telling you that or not.

ghostworld
i only saw a part of this movie, and it's weird.

panic room
the first movie i watched with a few of my roommates. it was a tad scary. a tad gory. not one of my favourites.

lots and lots

i would just like to announce that there is lots and lots and lots of snow in southern Saskatchewan, so if any of you would like some, drive your empty dump truck on up and we'll fill it up for you for free.

you just have to somehow drive it on impassable roads to get here.

(there is seriously way more snow now than there was all winter... and all the old snow had all melted in the lovely weather that we had been having the last couple of weeks. but it's been snowing and blowing now since 10am yesterday morning and now the new snow is getting a little bit out of hand).

on with real life

so this morning i slept in, which was super, and i hadn't done it in over a week and a half as i had class all last week and got up early on the weekend and yesterday to do homework. but i find when i get into a habit of getting up at the same time every day (i.e. 7:30ish all last week) that i tend to continue waking up at that time for a long time.

i went and did the disk switch from yesterday's homework incident this afternoon, thankfully there was no hassle! then i came home and had a lovely chat with ryan and carly over msn... it was nice to finally "talk" with carly rather than just read her blog. i hope i get to meet you two some day... you sound so fun and rad and all-round cool, even if you do deny the genius of dctalk's "free at last."

i also chatted with jen over msn for the first time, although we've known each other for ten years i think... we were pen pals way back when and somehow stumbled upon each other on the internet. yay for the coolness of crossed paths.

and later tonight, after much chuckling with my roommates and general fighting and riffraff over supper, i did my taxes. i know what you're thinking, "how come i have to do boring stuff tonight and michelle gets to do fun stuff like her taxes?" well, kids, that's just the way life is. and, michelle, to top it all off, gets 318 bucks plus two years worth of GST rebates (probably another 300 bucks or so). so the "maybe someday michelle can get a car" fund is growing! whooohoooo.

and now, because the library is closing and because michelle doesn't like talking in the third person, michelle is going to trudge back in the snow, which she suspects is still falling and blowing and causing a general nuisance and ruckus, to her little home, into her little kitchen to make some swiss miss (which she smuggles into Canada everytime she comes back from the US because Americans do have a few good inventions), and up to her little room, to put on her flannel intergalactic pajamas and read some of the Good Book and drift off to sleep.

(use the second comments if inclined to use comments. thanks)

attempt #2

so i've been trying to fix my blogout comments for the past hour... but it's not working. i can't figure it out. it must be something in the script at .a href="http://www.klinkfamily.com/blogout/blogout.html">blogout. i can't get it so it will tell us that there have been comments left. argggh! i didn't change anything in the first place, so it shouldn't have stopped working.

i was thinking of switching to backblog or YACCS but they both aren't accepting new people. so, enetation is up for it's trial run here at mikao's world.

*Update* enetation seems to be working. please use the second comments, the ones at the bottom. eventually i'll delete the blogout ones.

brrr

yes, that's right, it's been snowing since 10am, and now it's almost 9pm. there are three inches of snow on the ground. i had to dig my winter jacket out of the back of my closet and find mitts and a touque to walk to the library. and my weatherpixie dug out her ugly green jacket again.

attempting

trying to figure out what's up with my comments. did some sleuthing over at blogout and think i maybe found my problem in my template. but i am thinking i also might have to switch commenting providers eventually. hmmm...

update

well... i got my paper and my presentation done, only to discover about three hours after handing it all in that i had handed in the wrong disk with my powerpoint stuff on it... so tomorrow i have to go and hopefully do a disk switching. the professor is actually out of town for the week so i should be able to get it from the seminary office still. :) whoops!

i was planning to have a relaxing evening of doing my taxes (chuckle chuckle), when i called a friend from elsewhere and then promptly had a temporary midlife crisis (quarterlife crisis?) so i went to find some friends to talk about it and didn't get anything resolved or figured out.

so then i went with my next-year-roommates to check out the duplex we are living in this fall. i am living with my friend jodi, whom i have known for three years, and hopefully also a girl named celeste, but celeste has to get approved to live out of dorm by the school and she hasn't quite yet so we are hoping that she does. anyways, the duplex is of course much smaller than where i'm living this year, but it's pretty nice. There's a living room, kitchen with attached dining room, two big hall closets, a big bathroom, a laundry/electical room, and two bedrooms. i am excited because i'll still have my own room and i definitely need that. jodi and celeste have agreed to share which is just super. :)

i'm only planning at the moment to be here for one more semester of school, then i'll be done my master's degree and done school. that will be different. i feel like i've been in school forever.

however, some opportunities have come up lately, more opportunities for the summer and beyond that i need to make decisions about. i need to keep reminding myself that it's not about money, it's not about fun, it's not about meeting new people, it's not about guys, it's not about any of that stuff. it's about going where God wants me to go. it's about being moldable in the hands of God. it's about being a tool.

it's just tough not having the simple easy answer laid out before. it's tough having friends say there should be no question in my mind about which is the right option. is there a right option? is there an unselfish option? is there a right place to be?

i know only the Big Man Upstairs knows the answers to those. He knows and He's got everything under control. in my impatience i just wish i knew too.

wow

i had been noticing a lot of referrals in my stats of people surfing in off of blogs4God, which i thought a bit strange as i don't often get many hits off of their site, so i went on over to check things out.

low and behold, i got mentioned in a post called pastoral followthrough about what youth ministers are up to, and they even quote my wait for me entry from a couple of days ago. i've never been quoted like that before, i was actually kind of surprised that those were my words. i didn't think i had written it quite that way. that is way way cool. :)