Observation/Question

The advertising bar at the top of my Hotmail this morning read "Swimwear at ebay from $1." WHO BUYS SWIMWEAR ON EBAY????

Thought

Sometimes during my daily morning snack at work I sit here and think that Ritz crackers are seriously the tastiest food in the world.

awk·ward
( P ) Pronunciation Key (ôkwrd) adj.

1.
Not graceful; ungainly.

2.
a. Not dexterous; clumsy.
b. Clumsily or unskillfully performed: The opera was marred by an awkward aria.

3.
a. Difficult to handle or manage: an awkward bundle to carry.
b. Difficult to effect; uncomfortable: an awkward pose.

4.
a. Marked by or causing embarrassment or discomfort: an awkward remark; an awkward silence.
b. Requiring great tact, ingenuity, skill, and discretion: An awkward situation arose during the peace talks.

- via dictionary.com

Move Again

There are problems with the water well of the building that I have been staying in for the majority of my time at camp... so I have been forced to move around again. Tonight I spent a good amount of time packing up the things that are in my room, and moving the essentials to the building I'm staying in now. So now everything's boxed up and ready to move next Tuesday for the real move, to my apartment. I am looking forward to eventually being somewhat more solidly settled somewhere!

I was going to scan a photo for a post tonight, but the computer is telling me that it can't find the scanner, so I shall leave the photo for another time.

Work has not been busy at all this week, but my mind has been full of much thoughts and thinking.

I have been reading through the Psalms lately for devotions. The following are from Psalm 34:

This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles. (v. 6)

Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.
Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it. (v. 12-14)

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (v. 17, 18)

A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken. (v. 19, 20)

Even though it is somewhat cheesy christianese, it is true that God is looking out for us and has our best in mind.

Blue Haze

That's the name of the colour my bedroom is going to be in my apartment. I was thinking I'd rather like a green like the colour of this blog but lighter, but it wouldn't go with the carpet. So blue it is. It's a light blue. A nice blue. I was going to go with "Winter Solstice" but then I realized that I would mostly be picking it just because I like the name of the colour. When the paint companies put the name of the colour on the front of the paint chip I fall in love with the name rather than the colour.

Anyway, my future roommates and I went back to our apartment tonight to have another look around and figure out where our furniture is going to go and such, and we still LOVE it, so that's a great thing. We can move in next Monday.

I don't have a bed yet, but we have a pull-out couch, so that can suffice for now whilst I wait for my bed.

Did I mention they're painting the rooms whatever colours we want? How cool is that?

And we have cable?

And we can move in next Monday?

And I can unpack my suitcase?

Finding Greetings

The past few summers I have had the opportunity to visit a number of churches with different friends all over when I've been visiting them. It always interesting to note, as a church visitor, how friendly the church is and who actually takes the time to shake your hand, ask your name, or simply acknowledge your existence.

This morning I went to church by myself because the friend I was going to go with ended up sleeping in. I've been to this church twice before today, and I think it'll most likely be the church I end up going to permanently here.

At one time I never thought I would get to go "church shopping," mostly because I assumed I would be working in a church and the church I would go to thus would be the one where I had a job at. Alas, however, I do not work at a church and thus have had this opportunity to find a church home of my own.

I grew up in a smaller, non-evangelical, liturgical kind of church; however in high school I began attending a smaller evangelical church's youth group. At my first college I went to a bigger Baptist church with the relatives I was living with. Once in Bible college, I went to the ginormous community church that everyone on campus who didn't have a car went to. At that church, it was difficult to get to know anyone other than your college friends, and that was how it had always been.

I was beginning to think that that may be the case at the church I have been going to here, being a larger church with 400-500 people. However, the greeter at the door this morning actually talked to me, three people asked me my name, and one older lady named Mabel even took the time to ask me questions and find out who I actually am and where I come from. I cannot even count the number of times where the door greeter at different churches has either failed to shake my hand or has shook it loosely before diving into conversation with the regular congregant coming in behind me.

I like how the epistles start with a greeting. Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul was a good greeter. So many times we are complacent just to know those we know and encourage those who encourage us. I think however, as Christians, we are called to greet all with the love that Christ has shown us.

Better Than Biting Your Nails, I Suppose

I've picked up this nasty habit here at work. We have a watercooler that is just outside my office. I love water. I never really liked juice even when I was a kid.

Anyways, I drink water all day long. More so at lunch and then all through the afternoon. And because of this nasty habit, I have to go to the bathroom a lot. And when I mean a lot, I think I have gone at least 5 times since lunch was over at 1:30. Five times! Our bathroom isn't even that nice. Thank goodness it isn't gross though. Then I'd have to curb the consumption.

I think this excessive water consumption is partly due to the fact that it's kind of dry in here. And going out to the water cooler gives me a legitimate reason to go across the hall and chit-chat with people.

Random bits from me.

Jerk

Today I drove to town for two things, and I got the first one done but then my car was having some general jerkiness problems (but only when I slowed down, once I speed up it's fine)... so I decided to drive back to camp rather than do my second thing in town (which would have required stopping and I wasn't sure it would start again). I made it back but I'm not sure how much more driving I'll be able to do before my car breaks down again. Ugh. I can't handle too many more expenses, car problems are not currently welcome.

I think I'll try driving it tonight just around here. I hope it survives.

Oh The Gloriousness That Will Be

I just talked to my younger sister and she is going to come and visit me for a week here so that is pretty neat. Granted, it will be over the weekend that I'm moving into my apartment and that first week I'm in my new apartment, so things'll be a little crazy, but hey, she can come so that is neat.

And I can't wait to move into my apartment. Seriously. I have no idea when I'll get my bed (a friend is giving me one but I don't have any idea when the date of arrival will be) or when my room or apartment will resemble something recognizeable... but I'll have A SPACE OF MY OWN again and oh the gloriousness that that will be.

Our future landlords have let us know we can come back to the apartment this Saturday to take another look... so we can measure things and figure out where things will fit and decide bedrooms and all that stuff. But I decided on my bedroom the first time I saw it. I wouldn't cry if I didn't get it but oh I love that room, even if I've only glanced at it twice.

I can't really afford to buy anything new to decorate, but I think that I should be able to still make a lovely space of my own. A SPACE OF MY OWN, did I say that already? Sure I've got a car that I can keep crud in, but soon I'LL HAVE A BEDROOM AGAIN. And a living room I can watch tv in. And a kitchen I can cook food in. And a telephone... oh, I shall be able to call people from my very own telephone and not my work phone.

And we'll have cable tv. I've never had cable tv in my entire life. I'm excited.

But I'm more excited to have my own room again. Could you tell?

Who knew you could scan an acorn?

He's Just Not that Into You

My friend Joanne saw this book on Oprah. She informed me I should read it.

I refuse to believe the title.

Reading

These thoughts are from Michaela Forbes' blog. She doesn't have permalinks so I just quoted everything I wanted to here:

Casella says, in his interview, just about how I feel:

"I wrote 'Walking on Water' in the car on a trip from Pennsylvania back to Nashville last fall. I was thinking about how crazy my life had been and what faith felt like in the midst of that. Lyrically, I drew a lot of ideas out of that song from different angles, but most of what I was trying to say is there in the chorus. Faith can feel like dying. It will take you to your lowest of lows because you lose your right to yourself. God is not so interested in our happiness as much as He is in holiness. The other end of that is the exhilaration of what it feels like to be totally enraptured and caught up in something bigger than yourself, something that completely disarms you, empties you out, then fills you up with what you need. So it's a song about being a believer and holding onto your faith as you grow older, to keep walking, even when you don't feel like walking."

What I love, is that God does empty us, to fill us with what we need. And that may not coincide with what we think we want. Without the shade, we would never appreciate the sunshine. Without these sorrows, we would never be able to appreciate the joys. And through the shade and sorrow, God strips away what we were clinging so tightly to, in order to give us his absolute best. And between what we thought would be best, and what is our best, we are blessed with this spiritual renewal that would not have occurred in any other way but this.

16 Days

That's how many days it is officially until I move into my apartment and can unpack my suitcase. This is exciting because I have been living out of my packed suitcase since August 20th.

August 20th! It'll be over two months of suitcase living over when I finally move in. Have you ever lived out of a suitcase for that long? Because I'm thinking of compiling a book and I need some people to write about it too, it can't just be me.

After all, somebody's gotta be able to make it interesting.

Crisis

This article says people finish forming their identities around the 27th year. Does this mean I have half a year to figure out who I am? I HAD BETTER GET CRACKING. What am I doing at work? I'VE GOT AN IDENTITY TO FIND.

Question

Since when did Hotmail upgrade everyone to a 250MB account? I went from having used 53% of my space to having used only 1% of my space.

Horray!

Familiarity and Community

Tonight I went to do the exciting errands of shoe shopping and sock purchasing in town after work was over. Colder weather has arrived and my 6 or so pairs of socks that I brought with me to Ontario in May just aren't cutting it any more, I can't wear flip flops every day.

I went to the mall (the half-empty mall with barely any stores) and to Wal*Mart (Canadians used to have Wal-Marts, now we have Wal*Marts... I think America is trying to take over!!! NO TO AMERICA!), and to Your Independent Grocer. In Independent I roamed the aisles and wished oh wished so hard that I would just see someone, anyone that I knew... but then I realized it wasn't Superstore and I wasn't in Moose Jaw.

I miss the feeling of community I once had, after so many years of school in the same place. I miss the feeling of living in a town where I know who everyone is and how they're related to everyone else, I even miss knowing everything about everyone and them knowing everything about me (yikes). I miss going to the grocery store and playing "Caronporters" with my roommate by spotting all the people from school and racking up points.

I miss being able to walk down the hall or down the street to spend time with friends whom I've known for what seems like forever, and having the choice of a multitude of people with whom to spend my time.

There's something lonely about this business of growing up and moving on.

Good News

So, I thought I would seriously never be able to drive my car again because it would cost too much to fix.

I called the mechanic guy today and asked if he had looked at it yet, and he said... "Yeah, come and pick it up anytime."

"REALLY?" I said. "How much will it cost?"

"Fifty-five dollars."

"Fifty-five dollars?"

"Yes, $55."

"What was wrong with it?"

"The tork converter was just stuck."

"Just stuck?"

"Yep."

So that is very very very very very very very good.

Little Bambino

I sent my little car on a trailer ride to the mechanic's yesterday afternoon. I still have not heard any diagnosis.

I'm going to my Chum Carolyn's cottage after work, it's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada.

And, today, it's also officially the longest work afternoon ever as lunch was at 11:30am today instead of at noon or at 12:30. I'm preparing a statistical report on numbers. I've been working on it since yesterday afternoon.

Life goes on.

By Popular Request

An update on my life. Sorry I haven't written much lately, I haven't really felt like it. It's sometimes interesting these stages of life we go through.

I did indeed get the cool apartment, we move in November 1st or so. I'm going to be sharing it with two other girls I work with. We each get our own bedrooms, and have a nice newly redone kitchen, a living room, a big bathroom, a little nook, and an attic. Like an attic on tv. In the warmer months we plan to use it as another room, just in the winter it might be a bit chilly as it's not insulated.

And, as the previous post stated, my car died. I went to a camp reunion for "my other camp" over the weekend, got back safely, and parked my car. A couple of hours later when I went to drive it, it stalled in drive and would only go in reverse. Yesterday it would only stall and not move. It's still parked outside my office. A heavy duty mechanic looked at it and thought perhaps maybe it might be the torc converter (or however you would spell that) but he's not sure. I haven't gotten it towed yet, but I suppose that is the next step.

If it's a costly repair, then I'm out of a car. I don't know what I would do then. One of my future roommates has a car, but it's not fair to her that we would be both relying on her for transportation.

So, the whole car thing has been very discouraging.

Slowly I am learning that trusting God means trusting Him to take care of everything. It's just sometimes so hard to fathom, and even harder to let go of things held on for so long.

I Might Cry

My car died last night. It just stalls now. I don't know that I can afford to have it fixed.