resurrgence of michelle

i didn't really watch much tv while at school, and since being home less than 48 hours, i've seen the name michelle used quite a few times... as a character name, in a commercial for a jewellry store (a guy practicing proposing... pretty much all he manages to get out is "michelle"), in a commercial for a car (a traffic cop named michelle leaves her name and number on the parking ticket)...

with this extreme popularity of my name in television as of late, i've come to a few conclusions:

a) i'm getting old...
b) michelle is no longer the popular name you name your daughter, it's the name of all the mothers.
c) us michelles, we're that age. that age we wanted to be as children. some are in college, some are young newlyweds, some are giving birth to their own children.

my birthday is only a few days away. this michelle is turning 25. seems like only yesterday i was still in high school. seems like only yesterday i was starting college. seems like only yesterday... for so many more things, so many more events. i feel like i should have accomplished more by now. shouldn't i be done school? shouldn't i be living on my own permanently? shouldn't i not be at my parents' house for the next month? shouldn't i have an exciting career? shouldn't i have a boyfriend or a fiance or be married? shouldn't i be more "grown up"?

what does this twenty-fifth year hold?

"See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me."
- Song of Solomon 2:11-13

back home

i made it home this morning at 6:30am... long trip. i went to Medicine Hat sunday night with some friends and we stayed overnight there, missing the big snowstorm that hit southern Alberta thankfully. Monday we drove to Calgary and saw many many cars in the ditch, and Monday night i took the bus north and arrived home this morning.

my younger sister leaves for the summer tomorrow, so i only got to see her for one day... but one day is better than nothing :)

and just when i awoke this morning, and was still completely groggy and out of it, one of the youth pastors from Renton called... and regretted to inform me that i did not get the job. so, unfortunately, i will not be seeing Seattle this summer. :(

but, this does make my summer plans much clearer, i don't have to make a decision as to which job to take, and i am pretty sure it's God's will that i work back at camp again. so, yes, i will be back in Ontario sometime around May 30th, i still have to get my plane ticket and such but that is when i am supposed to be there. i will be a program director and secret service team leader (the s.s.t. is the group of 14 year olds who do maintenance and work in the kitchen), i'll be doing discipleship and leardership with them... lots of fun stuff. i'm looking forward to it, i am hoping for an awesome summer.

yes, i am dissapointed that i won't be going to renton. i really think that their internship program would be an awesome experience. but working at my camp again will also be an awesome experience. i have the experience of last summer to draw on and improve on. i know what needs to change. i know what i want to improve on. i know the people and love them. i won't be starting from scratch. i'll get to see lots of friends again over the course of the summer.

and i know that God will teach me much. i look forward to seeing that.

farewell/iin a box

i'm sitting on the floor staring up at my computer, which is very far away. this type is very small. there's not much left in my room besides my computer, the contraption it sits on (my desk wasn't big enough, so the monitor has sat on the CPU box and a milk crate for the past 8 months), my stereo, and my bed, and a few miscellaneous things that need packing.

graduation was good, the speeches were interesting, and my friends all handed Dr. Magnus (our president) puzzle pieces of a picture when he handed us our diploma. the picture was of him from the yearbook a couple of years ago when he had just had eye surgery and was wearing an eyepatch, with the caption "Papa Mags: by faith, not by sight."

i said goodbye to many... but some i didn't get to say farewell to.

my job interview was also today, via phone. i think there were 7 or eight people. lots of good questions, and tough questions.

i have no idea if i did okay or not. they asked if i had any questions at the end but i couldn't think of anything... and then as soon as i hung up i was like, gee, i should have asked the one guy how he would have answered the question he asked me. "how would you explain the concept of a realationship with God to someone who was non-Christian and did not have any church background?" another person had asked a clarification question on it too... it was a tough one to answer spur-of-the-moment. now, of course, i've thought about it much more.

i had about a five minute panic attack that i hadn't answered very well... but then i thought, you know, if i'm supposed to get the job, i'll get the job. God knows what He's doing. maybe i'll end up in Washington, maybe i won't. it's in God's hands. there's peace in that.

good thinking stuff. good probing questions. they said they'd phone me on tuesday to let me know what's up and if i've made it to the next step or not. i think they interviewed quite a few people for the two positions.

so, with that, i'm off to pack my computer. off to finish clearing out my room. tomorrow morning i've gotta get up early to move all my crud over to my new house, but then we aren't leaving until the afternoon. we're staying overnight in medicine hat and then i'll take the bus from calgary on monday.

happy trails to me.

in transit(ion)

last night was my graduation banquet. i invited my friends lowana and jodi because my parents didn't come (they came last year, i graduated with an associate of arts last year because i knew both my younger sister and i would be graduating and i knew my parents wouldn't be able to make it to both grads this year).

well, today is my college graduation. i also have a job interview at 5:40pm. then i'm going out for supper with friends, saying many good byes. then i'm packing up the last of my room and vacuuming my entire house. in the morning, i'll be hauling all of my stuff over to my September place of residence, and then leaving for Alberta and my parents' home.

right now i'm sitting in a chair with no desk, my computer is waiting to be packed, but after this, i won't have any internet access for a few days. i'm not sure if i'll get home monday or tuesday, i'm catching a ride to Calgary and then heading north, but i think we're staying in Medicine Hat overnight.

so, you probably won't be hearing from me for awhile, but have a super weekend. here's hoping for a good graduation, a good job interview (could it be on a worse day? ;) ), and good travels.

"The Lord your God is with you;
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
- Zephanaiah 3:17

chuckle chuckle

so my mom phoned me tonight... wondering if i had gotten the job yet. she told me she thinks i should get it and take it because she doesn't want me in the toronto area with SARS around. that made me chuckle, because when i first told her about the other job she was worried about me being in the U.S. because of the war and anti-Canadian sentiment.

best

this afternoon i was in a grad meeting and my youth min prof stopped by the door and mouthed to me that i needed to come and see him in his office when i was done with my meeting. now, this is very strange... because i really don't know my prof all that well, and i couldn't think of anything we'd have to discuss, other than papers or something like that, and i couldn't think of a paper he'd have to discuss.

well, for those of you who've been around awhile, you'll remember back in december that i did an independent study called "adolescent youth culture profile" on adolescent webloggers. all the assignments were based around the youth culture (adolescent webloggers) that we chose to study and infiltrate.

well, i thought my papers were okay. he however, thought it was absolutely fabulous and just loved it, and says it is the best paper he's read in at least a couple of years and went on and on. he loved how i "thought outside the box" of traditional youth cultures.

i must admit, i was pretty surprised to hear that.

i hadn't even talked to him beforehand about what i was planning to do for my independent study... which i was supposed to have. i just went ahead and did my assignments.

he said he was hoping i could come in next week and show him a bit of the weblogging world... but i'm going home on Sunday. i told him i'd email him some stuff. he wants to develop an assignment for a course called Contemporary Youth Issues next January where students are assigned to find a teen online and connect with them via their blog. now that would be an interesting assignment for those who have no idea that the blogging world exists.

i had talked to andrew careaga (an author of internet ministry stuff), about my assignment back just after i had finished it, and sent him a copy, and he got back to me this week asking if he could have permission to quote my paper in his revision of his book "e-vangelism"... so i thought that was pretty cool too. maybe all this internet surfing hasn't been for nothing. joanne says maybe i am a genius after all! :) ha ha.

anyways, i should get off this here internet and do some "real work." real work, of course, consists of packing my room.

have a great afternoon and evening everybody.

interview

so... i had an interview this morning for a youth internship in washington. i think it went okay, they weren't really tough questions, just mostly "what is one thing you would like to communicate to youth this summer most of all?" and "why should we hire you over our other applicants?". it was just me and one of the youth pastors, he asked a few questions, and we arranged a time for on saturday when i can be interviewed via phone with the whole hiring committee. so, saturday, at 4:40pst (seattle time), right after my graduation, i have another job interview.

so, yeah... saturday. another interview.

walk

we actually didn't get to watch the movie in the backyard because my faculty member roommate didn't clear it with the school that she was going to use the projector outside... so, yeah, people just hung out in the backyard and had a campfire and talked and stuff. i, however, really wasn't feeling like hanging out, so i spent a total of about five minutes outside.

did some more packing... my room is bare. there isn't too much left to pack, it's just a matter of fitting it into boxes that are already almost full. i packed all my cd cases. i had to round down to about thirty that i wanted with me for the summer to put in a portable case. i still have to pack all my clothes. i need to decide what i'm going to take for the summer and what i'm going to leave here. i'm kind of hoping that i don't have to pack all the ones that i'm leaving here, that i can just go and put them in my new closet. the only problem is i'm leaving on Sunday and the girl who has been living where i'm going to live isn't leaving until Monday. she has said we can drop off our stuff, but still.

next year my room will be much smaller, and i'll only have one teeny tiny closet and a teeny tiny east facing window (instead of a lovely big south facing one). and, my rent will be tons more expensive. and i'll only have one or two roommates. it'll be different, but i expect it will be good too.

i only have one more semester until i'm done all my classes for my master of arts. what will i do after december? i really have no idea. i'm not sure in the slightest. gosh, i don't even know what i'll be doing in a month for sure.

but Joshua 1:9 tells me, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." i'm so glad and so thankful that we can have confidence in the Lord and can trust him. He will never fail us.

if you can, please pray for me tomorrow morning as i have a job interview at noon. i get nervous about that sort of thing.

it's so nice to be loved. it's so nice to hear that you've been complimented when you weren't even around to hear it.

on the big screen

phewffda, i just finished my paper. but, i still have a few more to go. they're not due until may 7th, but i really don't want to take them home with me on sunday to keep working on.

i've gotten a major chunk of packing done today also, but there is still a lot to go. my walls and ceiling are bare... no more art, no more photographs, no more cool lamps hanging. i need to get as much done as possible before friday, because friday i have a vehicle available to me to cart stuff over to my duplex that i'm living in in the fall, and friday is also the start of all the graduation stuff. friday's the banquet and graduates introduction (we all dress up, walk across the stage, they say stuff about us, etc.), then saturday is the actual graduation ceremony. then i'll have my b.a.

tonight we're showing lilo and stitch in our backyard with a projector onto a big sheet. we've all invited our friends, should be fun. i wonder how many people will show up.

i should go. maybe i can get some more packing done before everyone shows up.

gross

i am attempting to finish up a boring paper, but i just wanted to share with you all that the computer station i am sitting at in the library absolutely reeks.

i hope that this smell doesn't latch on to me.

renton

i have a job interview by phone tomorrow (april 24)at 12noon CST.

pursue me, and alphabet

long day. but today i better realized a few things.

a) i shouldn't think that i should settle.

b) sometimes i really am a dud.

c) i really need to work more on my social interaction skills

d) i really like mcdonald's chicken nuggets.

e) sometimes, really stupid movies get made. and the film industry rips us off by showing them in theatres.

f) i really like photography.

g) job interviews scare me.

h) i have a lot of great people in my life whom i can call "friend."

i) cool pajama pants are a personal shopping weakness for me.

j) i want to sew more.

k) i love the end of the school year when my friends get all philosophical about the year that was... and we have great talks.

l) i don't really like packing.

m)i have some neat stuff.

n) i have too much stuff.

o) sometimes i'm just too vocal about stuff i care about.

p) sometimes i'm just not vocal enough about stuff i should care more about.

q) i'm worthy of being pursued.

r) and somewhere out there is that pursuer...

s) i wonder too often if i know him... and yet i don't pray for him enough.

t) i hate letting people down.

u) only very very seldom do i like being the centre of attention in a large group.

v) flip flops are so comfy.

w) my birthday is in less than two weeks.

x) i don't want to be another year older.

y) sometimes you just have to be silly.

z) zed. it's pronounced ZED. :)

My lover is mine and I am his;
he browses among the lilies.
Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee...
- Song of Songs 2:16, 17a

Hold on
You said
And I held on...
- Plumb, "Go"

things are ending

today i think it struck many of us graduates... next monday we won't be here. in fact, right about now, seven days from now, i'[ll be on a bus somewhere north of clagary.

sad. i don't like leaving school. i miss the people. and i don't like change. but i'm expecting to have a good summer no matter where i end up...

got some homework done this afternoon... about half of a boring boring paper. had supper at a campus home with a bajillion people (didn't die), watched part of "the ten commandments" (yeah... i am putting it off as much as possible! i was going to watch it last week), joanne brought back two rolls of film from moose jaw that she got developed for me (yay! how exciting is it to get pictures developed?), went and talked to some friends for awhile, fiddled around on the interneto for awhile, and now i'm going to bed.

tomorrow what i really need to be doing is a whole lotta homework. what i will be doing instead will be the following: getting up early, showering, cleaning, having lunch with my roommates and a friend, going to a mandatory grad meeting, hopefully pack a bit, do some laundry, go for supper at my friend cory's house, go with cory and beth to regina to a movie, pick up beth's mom from the airport, get back late, chat it up with roommates, and eventually go to bed.

i still have to pack my whole room. i still have to clean my room so it's spic and span. i still have papers to finish.

i'll get it all done... right?


the words that she wants to tell him
she desperately wants to show him

the things she'll confess are so small
to a God who's love is so large...

i'm writing a paper. and it's boring.

entertain me.

starfield lyrics

for those bajillion people out there who keep coming here from search engines looking for starfield lyrics of one type or another.... email me if you can't find them and i'll send them to you. :)

what have i done?

i just might have possibly done the stupidest thing i could have ever done... the return of the plastic owl prank from last semester.

but it was just too good of a chuckle to pass up.

recap

i should be in bed... but i wanted to post this so i'll remember what happened today (well, actually yesterday) in the future. and i really haven't posted anything lately.

i went to the library this afternoon and worked a bit more on the ficticious youth group. signed out a book and the movie the ten commandments because i need to write a paper on it... so that's the plan for tomorrow. watch that and prince of egypt and compare them.

then at supper time i went with holly and we walked two chocolate labs for a girl that we know who was out of town for the day. and i'd just like to say... welp, i'm not a big dog fan. we always had a dog when i was a kid, but it was always a border collie for herding sheep, and you didn't have to walk it. now, i can understand having a nice dog to walk. but these labs were not nice dogs. they've gotta smell everything and pee and poo everywhere, and pull you along. no nice pace with these dogs. and, there's always that... um.... that "dog smell." dogs aren't what i'd call a clean animal for the most part.

now, if you're a dog owner, i'm sorry if i have offended you. i hope you have a clean dog who likes to take a leisurely stroll. that would mean i'd like your dog.

i was not amused being pulled by a running dog and almost falling flat on my face. but, holly was. she thought it was hilarious. that's because her dog was behaving himself.

after we got back, i watched part of "white oleander" with a bunch of people who were over... i'd like to see the whole thing. it was an interesting movie.

then later, holly and i went with our friend, and future my roommate (this fall), jodi, to dairy queen in moose jaw, with her parents, who happen to be in town. they're from montana. i've met them on a number of occassions, they're swell people.

and then joanne, maria and i made Easter eggs for an Easter egg hunt we're holding for the neighbours' little kids tomorrow morning.

how is it, anyways, that eggs and bunnys and peeps became a symbol that the world associates so much with the resurrection day? something for me to ponder as i drift off to sleep so very very late...

ninjas

this is for ryan.

beauty

there is something about the piano, an instrument, but a tool in man’s hands.

softly and quietly, or loud and impetuously… passionately it can be played. Skillfully or poorly.

with graceful hands or pudgy fingers.

with beauty.

ack

umm... the renton people called my references this afternoon. but they haven't called me yet.

just yesterday i was checking out ticket prices for a flight to toronto at the end of may. i almost booked one.