Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Great Unknown

"p.s. does marriage ever freak you out because you can't imagine ever living with someone for the rest of your life. because anyone you have know your whole life you would never want to live with forever." (from an email)

Someone else asked me a few months ago, "Don't you ever worry that you won't meet a nice boy?" (BTW, this person always uses the term "nice boy" to refer to the Great Future Someone.) Anyways, I said no. "Why not?" the aforementioned person said. "How can you be so confident?"

I said "I am trying to think of some Bible verse to insert here, but I am coming up blank."

"Even with all those degrees?"

But anyways, every guy I have ever liked I thought (at the time) "Gee, I could spend the rest of my life with this guy." Except for this one guy, but we won't get into that. ;) But those thoughts were just adolescent infatuations and the excitment of the possibility of "maybe he could be the one." I think you know what I mean.

There is this line in the movie "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken" where the guy writes in a letter to the girl, after he has written her letters for like forever and hears nothing from her and assumes she is getting the letters and reading them and isn't convinced that he's totally the one or whatev (and really in reality the guy's dad has been stopping the letters from reaching the girl) when the guy says "You know Sonora, there was a time in my life when I couldn't imagine wanting to spend the rest of my life with someone else. Now I can't imagine spending it without you."

That's what I imagine it will be like. Like you will love the person so wholeheartedly that you will be unable to imagine life without them. Like things will fit and they will be the completion of you. The great "other half." Or whatever people say.

I know that is probably the most cliched answer I can give, but it's all I've got. Truth is, I've never loved anyone like that. I imagine it's goodness, but I've never experienced it. I'm as excited about it as the next Christian girl, but I'm willing to wait it out too... I'm not willing to go jumping into relationships I'm not confident in.

I was talking to someone yesterday about a talk they gave about their reasons for going to Bible college and someone said to them, "What, you didn't come here to find a husband?" She replied that going to a small Bible college to find a husband was kind of like going to the convenience store, or even the vending machine, when you could go to the supermarket instead! I suppose the world is a big supermarket. Does that mean I'm waiting for a good sale? Or one of those specials that only comes around every once in awhile? Maybe it's not the best analogy. (But it is funny).

Anyways, that's all I've got for thoughts today. Probably tomorrow, or tonight on the drive home, I will think "What was I thinking putting that on the internet?"


Jodi said...

Of all the people to comment you probably feared my comments the most. I say this because we have always had very differing approaches to relationships with the opposite.
HOWEVER, I really liked what you had to say and I thoroughly enjoyed the quote from Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken (even though I think Sonora is a weird name). Marriage does not freak me out because I definately can imagine living with someone forever because love is very much as you described. I guess I could imagine being with someone else, but the mere thought makes me kinda ill because I know that the connection that I have with Graham is like none other so although I think I could be happy--it just wouldn't be the same--I would be missing that completeness.
All in all, I appreciate your thoughts and I think these are all good things to think about. Don't regret putting any of this on the internet, but be willing to be just as forward when it comes to discussing these matters with the male gender! :)

rebecca said...

This is such a hot topic...especially among the "young, Christian, non-bar-hopping crowd".

Having gone to a Christian college as well I understand the pressure to couple up. We used to joke about getting "a ring by spring, or your money back" !

I did leave college dating my future husband, but I never planned it that way. Peter and I attended the same small college (1600 students) (1 sq mile) for three years before we even met.

I am a firm believer that God has a partner chosen for everyone who's meant to have one. If there's a delay in the process it only means that one of the two of you isn't quite ready yet. Why else would God have put Peter and I on the same small campus...never to meet until our last year there?

Anyway, that's my $0.02.

Neely said...

What a read! I'll have to share the supermarket/grocery store analogy :)

Michele said...

Hi there

Your analogy is rather similar to what another blogger had posted.

Check out

under Friday, March 10, 2006 - The Shopping Game entry. :)