"p.s. does marriage ever freak you out because you can't imagine ever living with someone for the rest of your life. because anyone you have know your whole life you would never want to live with forever." (from an email)
Someone else asked me a few months ago, "Don't you ever worry that you won't meet a nice boy?" (BTW, this person always uses the term "nice boy" to refer to the Great Future Someone.) Anyways, I said no. "Why not?" the aforementioned person said. "How can you be so confident?"
I said "I am trying to think of some Bible verse to insert here, but I am coming up blank."
"Even with all those degrees?"
But anyways, every guy I have ever liked I thought (at the time) "Gee, I could spend the rest of my life with this guy." Except for this one guy, but we won't get into that. ;) But those thoughts were just adolescent infatuations and the excitment of the possibility of "maybe he could be the one." I think you know what I mean.
There is this line in the movie "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken" where the guy writes in a letter to the girl, after he has written her letters for like forever and hears nothing from her and assumes she is getting the letters and reading them and isn't convinced that he's totally the one or whatev (and really in reality the guy's dad has been stopping the letters from reaching the girl) when the guy says "You know Sonora, there was a time in my life when I couldn't imagine wanting to spend the rest of my life with someone else. Now I can't imagine spending it without you."
That's what I imagine it will be like. Like you will love the person so wholeheartedly that you will be unable to imagine life without them. Like things will fit and they will be the completion of you. The great "other half." Or whatever people say.
I know that is probably the most cliched answer I can give, but it's all I've got. Truth is, I've never loved anyone like that. I imagine it's goodness, but I've never experienced it. I'm as excited about it as the next Christian girl, but I'm willing to wait it out too... I'm not willing to go jumping into relationships I'm not confident in.
I was talking to someone yesterday about a talk they gave about their reasons for going to Bible college and someone said to them, "What, you didn't come here to find a husband?" She replied that going to a small Bible college to find a husband was kind of like going to the convenience store, or even the vending machine, when you could go to the supermarket instead! I suppose the world is a big supermarket. Does that mean I'm waiting for a good sale? Or one of those specials that only comes around every once in awhile? Maybe it's not the best analogy. (But it is funny).
Anyways, that's all I've got for thoughts today. Probably tomorrow, or tonight on the drive home, I will think "What was I thinking putting that on the internet?"