mikao's world

impatience is my foe

so here i am, in my twenty-fourth year, wondering if i am just languidly living out the year or however long it will be waiting for my real life to begin. what if this is my "real life"? does that change things? yes, because I am waiting for better things to happen, but if this is my "real life" then i am waiting for something that will never happen.

my impatience has struck again, one of my worst foes. there is a song that i want to quote but can't remember how it goes, however, it is something about wanting to know right now and not at the end of things how they will go. this is how i am. well, maybe not so much wanting to know what will happen but knowing that something will.

i want to know that i will find love… or even better, that love will find me. i want to know that i will get married. I want to know that I will be loved by a man. I want to know that I will have happiness with my family. I want to know that I don't need to worry about these things and find solace in that.

but, i hope in the promises of God. believing in them is another matter.