well, today i decided to take a day off from homework, which was fabulous but i am not sure if today was such a great day to do so or not. i slept in and had lunch with joanne and kelly, rachel wasn't up yet. i must say that i find it much more manageable living with just three others as opposed to five others. much more harmony too. i have learned much this week. we aren't exactly sure when tamara gets back from california, but holly comes back from ontario on tuesday.
in the afternoon rachel came up and we talked while i was sewing, then later she got her scrapbook and worked on that. i made some little travel cosmetics bags for my two sisters out of fabric i got from my Gramma's attic when i was there visiting this spring. it's all fabrics from dresses that were either hers or my mom's, aunt's, or great-grandmothers, from the 40s, 50s, and 60s. pretty neat i think. one is all blues, another all pinks, and i made a green one the other day too that i think i'll give to my mom maybe. i love sewing, i wish i could do it more often.
i didn't really know rachel at all last year, and we were laughing today at a dinner we were both at last year with a couple of other people and she didn't remember me being one of the other people there. i am so glad that i am getting to know her this year. she is such a WOG (woman of God) and full of so much wisdom. that's cool. we had a good discussion about swearing as she is hoping to overcome it. i've only sworn twice in my life that i know of... so it is interesting for me to discuss something like that. i think we have such a different perspective on it.
and, i have been getting to know joanne so much more this past week. we were very good friends before, but i find that since living together this year in a house i have gotten to know a much different side of her that i didn't know existed. last year in the dorm, and the year before as well, i used to always go and talk with her every night and discuss all our problems, and this year that has changed. now i see her all the time whether we like it or not. it's neat to know her in a different perspective. a lot of the time i miss the way it used to be, but our friendship has moved to a different level and can't really go back.
tuesday night i had a big midlife crisis... or i'm not sure what you'd call it, the whole "what-am-i-doing-in-school-still-will-i-ever-get-a-real-job-i'm-24-will-i-ever-get-married-why-doesn't-anyone-like-me-my-friends-are-annoying-me-why-do-i-always-fall-for-the-wrong-guys-why-can't-i-just-focus-on-God?" kind of freak-outs.
and, lately, i've been stressing out about the future... next week (ugh... how will i ever lead a Bible study with 9 youth pastors?), next semester (should i come back? do i really need to be here? what am i doing trying to get my masters? will i ever even get a real job? where is God leading me? how will i pay for next semester?), and next summer (should i go back to camp? should i go work in nebraska? should i look for another job?).
but God of course, is confronting me to be patient, to be satisfied with where i am. He knows what He's doing. He knows what i need and when i need it. He will get me through this one step at a time.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worrry about your life...do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25a, 34
"You see my imperfections
Still You say I'm a masterpiece
A marvelous reflection
The image of Yourself in me
You paint with strokes of grace..."
- Ginny Owens, "True Story"
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